5 It’s not so scary talking to strangers

Going on a meeting with a stranger that is prefigured as a “date” gives you permission to ask outlandishly personal questions, which is how I learned fascinating things about a man who grew up in an extreme religious sect, a C-list BBC celeb, an ex-naval officer, and the saxophonist in the touring band of an ageing rock star. I didn’t fall in love with any of them but, gosh, what a bunch of characters. I would have met none of them in my local.

I am great at job interviews and I’m sure that online dating has influenced that: once you’re proficient at having an hour-long conversation with a stranger over a beer it’s not a far leap to do it with one over a desk.

6 Falling in love still requires vulnerability

It’s so much easier to get drunk with a stranger who can’t hurt your feelings when it feels like there are hundreds of other people in your pocket who in principle could be better than the person you’re with (everyone you haven’t met is better). Online dating may have (sort of) solved the supply challenges of romance, but it hasn’t solved the biggest problem of all: emotional intimacy takes hard work. It means allowing yourself and your partner a kind of vulnerability that is often regarded as a sign of weakness and a source of fear. It’s still the case that nothing is less socially acceptable than admitting you’re lonely and longing to be loved.